School Uniforms

Walking to school - James's first day of Reception (or so we thought - this was a Monday and he actually started on that Thursday)

James really likes his school. It is a state school, and like at about 100% of the primary schools in Britain, the children there wear uniforms to school. I LOVE how he looks in his school uniform. I feel that there are so many pros and almost no cons to having kids wear them. It simplifies getting ready in the morning, it is an equaliser (no "poor" or "rich" clothes; no trendy or immodest clothes - everyone dresses the same way), and it helps the kids get in the mindset for school. Plus, the kids look so smart! (I mean this in the British sense of the word.) Cons - um... the uniform can be expensive (but really no more so than regular clothes, and is often cheaper than ordinary play clothes). Some people may say that it curbs individualism or freedom of expression in children. And I reply to this, "really? So we want to convey that the best or most important way for our children to express themselves is through fashion?"

So, can we start a movement in the U.S. for uniforms in public schools? Who's with me?

Teaching and Learning

I feel that I am preparing to leave London (we have about three months left) just as I am getting adept at living here. I have, for example, just barely figured out the best way to navigate Liverpool Street station with a buggy - where all the lifts are, where the street exits closest to the buses are, etc. I know all the best places to take James now - his favourite parks, the most kid-friendly museums, the restaurants where the servers don't roll their eyes when he knocks his silverware on the floor for the third time. I have online food shopping down cold.

As I was contemplating these things a few days ago, I realised it has been true of many stages of my life - I get good at doing something just as things are drawing to a close and it's time to move on. It is no different with parenting. In the 4+ years that James and I have lived together, it seems that each

time I feel I finally understand how to interact with him, he enters a different stage of development, and I have to learn everything afresh. The tactics that worked so well (okay, worked sometimes) yesterday are rendered obsolete by the swift and unrelenting passage of time. James is a drastically different person than he was six months ago, and by

extension, I am a different mother than I was then.

One of the ways I've changed my strategy is to let go of the outcome of my labours, or acknowledge that I never had true control over it in the first place. James is not a puppy I am housebreaking, but a human being for whom I have stewardship. Not all his successes will be attributable to my efforts, nor will his mistakes be laid at my feet. This is both comforting and bewildering. It would be simpler to have a straightforward cause-and-effect sort of evaluation system for my work; in its place there is intuition and hope that your best will be good enough.

I guess the point is not to be a perfect mother, or even a great mother, from the get-go, though. I did not expect James to be comfortable and capable with his mortal experience from day one; I should not expect myself to be so in my experience as his guardian. It is difficult, though, for someone with my obsessive personality and my desire to do everything "right" to fully embrace the idea that the process of becoming, the journey, is the objective. James and I are teaching each other how to be children of God and to do His will. And while that journey isn't easy, I appreciate the company.

I know that I'm not the first person to articulate these concepts, but I thought at least many of my readers would be able to relate. It is a thrilling adventure, being a mother. I'm always adjusting, recalibrating, discovering new ways to communicate, discipline, and teach. And new ways to learn. Maybe by the time they move out of the house, I'll feel sure-footed and confident. Maybe.

James' Birthday Party

At our dinosaur-themed party in the park this year, I realized that it was the first time James realized the actual significance of having a birthday party - even if he's still a little fuzzy on the details. He has no idea how long he will be four years old, as evidenced by the fact that he asks me every day, "Am I still four?" Anyway, he and the two friends roughly his age who were able to attend, along with several assorted parents and additional children, had a great time.

Some Pictures James Took Recently

Brothers

Weekend with Hanna, Dan, Henry, and Arthur

While Micah was in Spain, my dear friend Hanna invited me and the boys to stay with her for the weekend. I enthusiastically accepted. I only had to pack clothes for myself because Hanna and Dan have two boys, Henry and Arthur, who are conveniently the same sizes as James and Alex, respectively. So I loaded up a roller bag, put Alex in the sling, took James by the hand, and took the train up to Hertfordshire. For the Americans who read the blog, it's only about 20 minutes from central London.

It was the best vacation a person could have without her husband and without spending (much) money (I did have to buy train fare, after all). James and Henry played together, bathed together, took naps in the car together... it was lovely. Hanna and I sat inside and held our babies mostly, and Dan played graciously with the older boys. It was heaven! Thank you, Hanna and Dan!

The Kentish Town City Farm

We took a trip to the farm with James's nursery school class last week. It was quite an adventure getting 25 or so three- and four-year-olds with their chaperones to the farm on public transport, but that's another story. We saw chickens, turkeys, goats, sheep, horses, pigs, and cows... all nestled between the rail tracks and row houses of London. James inexplicably kept asking where the wolves were. And incorrectly recalled the next day that we had actually seen wolves at the farm.


{a three-day-old lamb with its mother}

Heaven

By Popular Demand

More pictures of Alex, who is one month old today.* Hopefully I'll get some newer ones soon.






I hold this baby most of the day. Meanwhile, James has become basically feral. I'm really glad he goes back to school tomorrow morning! Two weeks off has nearly done us in.



*Why is the time going by so quickly? Someone please make it stand still - while I hold my baby.

No One Is Going to Believe Me

On Tuesday, when Alex was 18 days old, I left him sleeping on his back on my bed for a few minutes. When I came back into the room, he was on his stomach.

!!?!

Is it even possible for a two-and-a-half-week old baby to roll over? Anybody have a precedent for this? Not in our family - James was three-and-a-half MONTHS old when he rolled over for the first time. I looked it up.

James was in the room with him at the time, and I asked him (James) if he had touched him (Alex). He said no. I will concede that it is possible that James did it, but I think that would have been strange behavior, even for James. He usually just likes to kiss and hug Alex and bring him toys.

She Fancies Him

James has a little friend at preschool. I met her (we'll call her M) and her mother as I picked up James Monday morning. M's mother tells me that M tells her that James is very funny. And that he tells her jokes at school. Micah says that he has seen M follow James around in the classroom, obviously smitten. Well. Aren't we all?

On the Tube Last Week

I was flipping through the January Ensign, the LDS Church magazine, showing James pictures and talking about them with him to pass the time. Here's our conversation about the cover:


Tat: "This is Joseph Smith, the prophet. What do you think he's doing?
James: "He's talking to the letter S."

Foop!

James has spent a lot of time lately pretending to be some animal or other. The title of the post is the sound he makes when he magically turns into the animal. He loves being a dog, a frog (that says "libbit, libbit"), a cat, or a monkey. He has also tried out a new "baby" impression - that sounds more like a wounded pteradactyl to Micah and me than a human infant. I love to see his imagination at work, though.

James Is Easily Distracted

Click here to see a video of James singing "I Am a Child of God." (I didn't embed it directly in the blog because the file was too large.)

James' Prayer

Evening prayer tonight, offered by James: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for have some food, and Coco Pops, and bike cereal, and noodles and cheese, no sauce, just cheese, and thank you for markers, and not color on walls, just color on paper, thank you for cars, Jesus Christ, amen.  

Potpourri

I thought I'd string together a few random thoughts and experiences today. First, this lovely picture of James playing with his friend, Eva. Yes, she appears to be writing on his head with a water pen. Eva's mommy, Stephanie, was one of a handful of extremely helpful and wonderful friends who watched James for us while I was in the hospital or otherwise incapacitated with morning sickness. Thankfully, I am glad to report that I am feeling a lot better now. I'm still nauseated and tired most of the time, but not so much anymore that it keeps me from functioning.

News: James started nursery school on September 8th. You can click here to see some pictures of him on his first day. He goes in the mornings for two-and-a-half hours, which is just enough time for me to really miss him. Or he DID go in the mornings, until he got suspended from school for not being potty trained yet. Oops. That did not get done because of my whole being-spectacularly-sick thing.

But it brings me to our next bit of news: we are potty training now! James is actually doing a wonderful job and is tons more motivated this time than the previous couple of times we made the attempt. Which shows me he is ready. So we should be ready to go back to school soon.

Finally, I wanted to mention a crazy pregnancy craving I've been experiencing - Granny Smith apples. I eat them by the bushel. Seriously, I eat four to six apples a day. They are one of the few things that actually tastes good. Go figure.

James' Birthday Party

Micah posted pictures of James' super duper third birthday party here. Enjoy!

Laughter and Forgetting

James is such a delightful, funny little boy, it's impossible to chronicle all the delightful, funny little things he does. What that means is that I remember generally how James was as an infant and smaller toddler, but some of the specifics are disturbingly quickly forgotten. I was just looking back at some videos we'd taken of James over the past year or so, and remembering things he used to do. For instance, he used to say something that sounded like "pressa" before addressing me or Micah: "Pressa Mommy, where are you?" or "Hi, pressa Daddy." To this day, I have no idea what he meant by it, but the thing is, he doesn't do it anymore. Another thing he used to do was hit himself, usually on the head, for no reason at all. I'm glad that little oddity is a thing of the past. Lately he's been saying "my" instead of "I'm." As in, "My sorry, Mommy" or Q: "James, are you okay?" A: "My fine, my fine." Anyway, this is a video from a few months ago that I promised my sisters I'd post. Here's to remembering how silly I was to leave my lipstick where James could get it...

James's Birthday

Well, he's three. I can't believe that three years have gone by. I just wanted to thank all of you who have called, sent gifts and cards, and been there for James. Here's to a wonderful little boy!

"the fugitive moment refuses to stay"

I just held James and sang him to sleep. This does not happen very often; many times Micah or I will be dismissed with a "go" when James is ready to rest for the night. Tonight he was so exhausted that changing his diaper and putting on pajamas was a traumatic event for everyone involved. But eventually, he calmed down enough for Micah to sing a few bedtime songs to him ("The Itsy Bitsy Spider," "The Wheels on the Bus," and "Popcorn Popping"), and finally, he crawled on my lap and snuggled up to me to listen to "one (last) song." As I sang "I Lived in Heaven," then "I Know My Father Lives," then "I Feel My Savior's Love," his little eyes fluttered, then closed, then stayed closed.

How many more nights will he let me sing him to sleep, cradled in my arms? Whatever the number, it will be too few.