Monday 12 May 2008

Happy Mother's Day

I had surgery last Tuesday. It was minor, outpatient surgery, but as a result, I have spent most of the last several days in bed, and I won't be able to pick up anything heavy (i.e. James) for several weeks to come. And I've realized how wonderful my support system is. So this Mother's Day, I wanted to pull back the curtain and reveal the real wizards of my motherhood. If James does or is anything good, the following people deserve the credit. If, on the other hand, my mothering fails to measure up, the blame is mine alone.

Micah, my husband and friend and superhero

Micah has done everything, everything to help while I have been recovering. He has taken care of James, washed the clothes, washed the dishes, prepared the food, cleaned the flat, and moved things with solely the power of his mind. I married the most amazing human being on the planet, who bears my many indiscretions, weaknesses, and character flaws with grace and cheerfulness. He has endlessly encouraged and supported me in my role as mother, and I will always be grateful to him for that.


My own saintly Mummy
My mother is a great inspiration to me. She has been such a good example of mothering. When I was a child, she helped me develop my imagination and self worth while simultaneously giving me an anchor of safety and stability in the gospel of Jesus Christ. She is truly amazing when it comes to teaching her children be independent, thinking people who choose to act for themselves and take control of their own destinies. Oh, and she tolerates with longsuffering and great compassion my many whiny phone calls about what a failure I am as a mother.








My tireless Mother-in-law
My mother-in-law is one of the most vocal advocates for yours truly. She never hesitates to tell me what a great job I'm doing as a mother, even though privately she must chuckle at my foibles and my comparative inexperience. She is one of those people that just gives and gives and gives, and you start to wonder if she has any desires for herself other than to serve others. She was the one who took care of me when I was pregnant and miserable, fixing me grits (she is Southern Hospitality personified) and bacon, empathizing with me to no end. She also happily takes care of James when his parents need a break.








Add to this list my father, father-in-law, stepfather, grandfather, grandmother, sisters, brothers, sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, other family members, and dear friends, all of whom have functioned as surrogate therapists over the phone or in person or by email as I have tried to muddle through these first few years of motherhood. They have rejoiced in my successes and sympathized with me during my mistakes and shortcomings. Forgive me for not naming you all individually, but know that you are very loved and very appreciated. It does take a village to raise a child, and James and I are very lucky to be part of such a loving and wonderful village.

9 comments:

The Trevor said...

Tat, you are a great Mom, James was foreordained to be crazy... it has nothing to do with any "insufficiencies" you might have, and I'm not yet convinced that you have any.

Also, Mom looks like James in that picture... I'm starting to think the reason that James gets compared to everyone on multiple sides of the family has nothing to do with his actual looks, but the fact that all of us look so darn alike.

Laverna said...

Tat, I'm sure that you do a far better job than you give yourself credit for. Every child is different and brings a unique set of challenges and blessings in raising them.
My mother and I were talking in the car (an impromptu visit to Brigham City/Garland/Logan for her) last week and discussing just how different all of us are in personality, learning styles, etc. despite the fact that we grew up in basically the same environment.
I'm sure Micah lets you know this all the time, but you are a wonderful person and are doing the best job you can as a mother. Regardless of effective/ineffective-ness (and I'm sure it's more the former), I firmly believe that Heavenly Father recognizes your efforts and makes up the difference. Just as he does in every other aspect of our lives.

kt said...

i definitely "feel ya" on the not feeling adequate. instead of feeling blessed and loved yesterday, i was crabby and felt unhappy and worthless. we all have our moments, right? mine just happened to happen on Mom's day. hope you're recovering goes speedy and well.

Sally said...

I'm so glad that you have Micah to help you out and I hope that you're feeling better soon! Nate too, has done all the cleaning the last little bit for me. It's a really big deal for him too because I know he hates it, but does it anyways because he loves me. Happy Mother's Day to you!

Tiffini said...

Happy Mother's Day--late. I'm with you on the feeling inadequate with this whole parenting thing. I feel like I am holding my breath hoping that the kids turn out ok after all of my mistakes.

Darrell said...

Here's wishing you a speedy recovery, and deserved rest!

Darrell and Jenny

Tat said...

Judging from the comments I've gotten, this post came out a lot more focused on me and my own inadequacies (or perceived inadequacies) than I thought it would. I meant just to highlight how grateful I am to be surrounded by wonderful helpers, who make me the mom I am.

Emma said...

Yea to fabulous helpers!!!! Thank goodness Heavenly Father gave us families and didn't send us to earth without each other. Good luck in your recovery!

mary said...

What a nice post. You look so much like your mother AND your mother-in-law, imagine that! And you are a superb mother. I am glad I can learn a few tips from you.

We are wishing you a speedy recovery from the surgery...